Politicians or toddlers, I'm not really sure who's running Washington these days. There is one thing I am sure of though, that the elected officials in Washington D.C. should be on a "pay for performance" system. I'm usually a big term limit fan, but PfP may just take care of the career politician problem on it's own.
Mr. President, only 52% of the American public think you're doing a good job so you earn 52% of your $33,333 monthly salary. (btw, did you know the U.S. President's salary has doubled from $200K to $400K since the year 2000?) Yep, that means the Obama's would have to squeak by on $17,333 gross this month. Michelle may even have to start moonlighting.
Our congressional leaders are really going to be hurting. Only 38% of Americans think you are doing an adequate job. 38% of their $174,000 annual salary comes to $66,120/year or $5,510 gross this month. They'd better get their butts in gear to afford the cost of living in D.C. on those salaries.
Which brings me to the beauty of this method. We all know there is a huge political divide in our country, or at least that's what the talking heads want us to believe. So if the politicians are going to tow their respective hardcore party lines, they can expect about 50% of their normal salary, but if they want to find solutions that work for the American public as a whole, then cha ching it's payday baby!!
Starbucks frappuccinos.... addictive little things aren't they? Just the sight of the chilled bottles gets my taste buds tingling, but alas I'm a frugal thing. Don't get me wrong, I indulge from time to time but not nearly as often as I would like.
Enter the copycat frappuccino, or as I affectionately refer to it...
The Fauxppuccino
The beauty of having empty frappuccino bottles on hand, is that no actual measuring is required! Starbucks has ingeniously designed their labels for copycat peeps like me. OK, maybe that's a tad egocentric, but it is handy!
Coffee. I probably should say freshly brewed coffee here, but truth be told cold day old coffee works just as well for me. If it's too early in the morning to dig out the measuring tools, just know 1 cup of coffee goes to the middle of the green logo. The stars on the old labels were pretty handy for this!
Flavoring syrup. My grocer carries the Torani syrup in the coffee aisle. Imagine my shock when none of the big, giant, mega groceries near my Mom in Kansas City had these. Sams club also carries a similar brand. Caramel, chocolate, and white chocolate are my favs! Notice in the pic below that the flavor syrup takes your concoction up to the top of the label.
Milk. Fill the rest of the bottle with milk. It works out to a wee bit shy of 1 cup. One would think whole milk would make this super creamy and yum but actually I'm not a fan, 2% or skim for me
Seriously, who needs recipes or measuring? Still, I've broken down the ingredients in the typical fashion as well, for
all the boring, stodgy recipe follower types. You are probably the
same people who what street names and distances on your driving
directions, too.
Ingredients:
1 c coffee
1/4 c Torani flavor syrup
3/4 c milk
Chill them in the frig or pour directly over ice. I toss the bottles and the caps in the dishwasher when I'm finished. Incidentally, frappucinno bottles are also stellar for making your own vanilla extract!
I've made homemade premixed pancake/waffle recipes before. In my house every minute saved in the morning pays back three fold, so having the dry ingredients already mixed is a win in my book. I have since, however, adopted the "make a zillion waffles and freeze them" mantra, which saves even more time.
So when I came across this pin from fakeitfrugal I had one of those, "why haven't I done this" moments. It has apparently taken me 35 weeks to get around to doing it, but here we are. Twelve premix cookie batches!
I don't really make cookies all that often, maybe that's the reason for the lack of urgency. It is nice to have some piping hot, fresh out of the oven cookies for an after school snack from time to time. The downside was that a full recipe makes a lot of cookies, even after plenty of cookie dough snacking, (which means I never feel like eating the cookies by the time they come out of the oven) so I'd stick the rest in the frig. Dough in the frig means way too much nibbling temptation for me, cookies after school for three days, three kids who were sick of cookies by day 2, and a bag of baked cookies that sat in the pantry for two weeks until they were rock hard and tossed.
These batches are really half a normal recipe. Betty Crocker clearly knows how to make bank with those $2.50 cookie mixes! This means I'm getting about 16 cookies a batch, probably 18 if I didn't snack on the dough. That's enough for two per kid with a few leftover for friends, Mom, Dad, and maybe one for lunchboxes the next day. No dough in the frig, and no cookie burnout!
There's really no secrets here. If you need recipes to get you started, here's my favorite Oatmeal cookie recipe. The aforementioned fakeitfrugal has posted some here too. I've tweaked these to my preferences. I subbed oil for butter for starters. When I tried the fakeit sugar cookie recipe I didn't get the consistency I needed with room temperature butter, plus coconut oil adds another layer of yum to most cookies! I've had hit or miss luck with butter cookie recipes baking up flat and weird (but still edible!) anyway, so sometimes I use shortning too. I know, I know, my kids will probably start growing a third ear from the GMO soybean genes. I really try to avoid this stuff 90% of the time but sometimes a fluffy cookie is worth the risk.
You probably already have a favorite recipe, start there. All you have to do is premix all the dry ingredients. I like doing it assembly line style with four big bowls lined up, and my ingredients lined up beside me all TV cooking show like. One thing to keep in mind is the baking powder rule. Since brown sugar has a high moisture content, make sure you use only baking soda, not baking powder in recipes that call for brown sugar. Write the baking time and ingredients to add on a quart size baggie and you're in business! I store mine in the freezer for extra freshness, and have a spot in the back of a drawer for the empty bags until I'm ready to do another batch.
I'm excited to have these on hand for play dates, sleepovers, and those spur of the moment times that always seem to come up. It really doesn't take much time to put these together, so I encourage you not to wait 35 weeks to try it!!
I saw a recent facebook posting that went something like this: "There are only three things you need to know about a woman.
#1. You have to know the truth of a woman.
And this is that truth...,,
Every man she has ever loved in her life has hurt her! They have abused her verbally, physically, mentally, or emotionally! Or all
the above. Because if any of them had treated her right, then she
wouldn't be available for you! It's not her fault she doesn't trust you!
She can't! At least not yet!
I know that's hard to understand so I made him read a posting that I keep on my phone. This is what it says....
If you tell her she's beautiful, on the outside she's going to smile,
probably even blush, and tell you thanks. But on the inside? She's going
to think.... "How"? She's going to come up with a thousand reasons why
she's not. She's going to try to convince herself that your lying, or
just being nice. And eventually she will succeed. She's going to
continue to believe she's not beautiful. But if you stay, and keep
telling her, then maybe, eventually, she might just start believing!
And that means so much more than what it says.... but it's so true! At
this point, most women have forgotten how to fall in Love. Remember when
you were 16 and in Love! That's Love! Deep down you might know its not
gonna last, but no one in the world could convince you that it's not
gonna last forever! Remember how awesome that was? That's all she wants!
That's all she needs! She wants to give her whole self to someone!
Someone she just craves like an addiction! So how do you get her to feel
that way about you? Well that's number two!
#2. Make her feel wanted!
All she wants from you is..... YOU! She wants you to want her! Only
her! Never stop doing the things that made her fall in Love with you!
Most people get lazy or content in a relationship! So they stop doing
the little things. But it's those little things that build Love! A smile
from across the room just because you caught a glimpse of her. Stare at
her like you used to, and when she says "what", tell her how beautiful
she is! I mean you tried so hard to get her... So Try even harder to
keep her! It only takes five seconds to say thanks, or I Love you Babe!
And you know what? Sometimes saying nothing means so much more than you
could ever say! Make her feel it! Stop her mid sentence with a kiss! A
real kiss! Or brush the hair from her eyes as you stare into them! Hold
her hand just because you want to! And never ever forget, the more you
give, the more you get back!
I've Loved, and I've lost Love!
And it makes me so sad to see people fall out of Love! I see so many
relationships fail because people are scared! Scared of failure! They're
afraid of letting themselves be judged by someone else! So when they
start dating someone, it's all fake! They pretend to be someone they're
not, just to impress! But then they wander why it didn't last, or what
they've done wrong! I hear people say all the time, "well you've just
changed". No! You just stopped pretending! And your not that person you
made them fall in Love with! You never were! So I'll say that number
three is probably the most important one of all.....
#3. Be who you really are!
Never pretend! And know this.... You can never really Love someone, if
you can't Love yourself! You have to Love the heart your trying to give,
If you want them to Love "all of you", then you have to give them "all
of you" to Love!"
OK the author should have realized they were in trouble from the get go with a statement like "There are only three things you need to know about a woman. " Now if this poor soul was a man, I feel for him trying to make sense of the women in his life, but let me set the record straight from my female perspective. #1 "Every man she has ever loved in her life has hurt her!" How horribly tragic, and completely untrue. First of all lets start with the man who will set the basis for her expectations in how men should behave, her Father. Fathers, and those that fill that role in a girls life, have an extraordinary responsibility to nurture their Daughters self worth and subsequently their ability to choose a partner wisely. Entire books have been written to expound on this, my favorite being "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" by Dr. Meg Meeker.
So let's assume for a moment that the original post was referring only to the men she's loved romantically. Double ugh! I suppose this depends a bit on what type of "love" we're talking about. If we're talking about the hormonally charged, butterfly stomach, first six months "new love" stage, then this statement is just sad. I have dated plenty of great guys, who didn't hurt me verbally, physically, mentally, or emotionally. I am not married to most of them! As a matter of fact that was one of the larger take away lessons I've learned, 'he doesn't have to be a bad guy to not be the right match for you.' There are a ton of really great men out there, the key is knowing what makes a good match for you and having the confidence and compassion to know when to let go of a relationship that doesn't fit. It takes some time, and a lot of thought to have a good handle on your expectations in a relationship, (see above). Trust me, it's easy to talk yourself into holding on too long to a good person who may not be the right fit. But for heavens sake, suggesting that any available woman is unable to trust because she's so emotionally damaged from all the horrible men in her life??? Oy! I hope that's the rare exception, not the rule.
For the record, now that I'm some 15-20 years beyond this I still call some of these very guys my friends. Many have beautiful wives and children and it makes me smile, and proves my point.
Let's call the next premise #1b " If you tell her she's beautiful...She's going to come up with a thousand reasons why
she's not." My knee jerk reaction is to yell "RUN" at the top of my lungs. That's honestly a valid choice here and you should at least consider it. You shouldn't have to stay with someone to constantly try to convince self worth into them. Let's skip ahead to #3 for a moment, "You can never really Love someone, if
you can't Love yourself!"is there any reason this shouldn't be appropriate for both parties? But let's give this woman the benefit of the doubt for a moment, much has been written about female self confidence or lack thereof so let's assume she just needs a boost in this area. There's nothing wrong with being more specific about what you love or enjoy about someone. More then just "you're beautiful" how about, "I love the way you x,y,z" and be very specific, not just about physical characteristics, but actions and attitudes as well. "I love how thoughtful you are to people who are hurting." But if she meets every compliment you give her with a dozen reasons why she doesn't deserve them, you may be facing more then just humility, you may be facing Princess syndrome.
How about #1c "At
this point, most women have forgotten how to fall in Love. Remember when
you were 16 and in Love! That's Love! Deep down you might know its not
gonna last, but no one in the world could convince you that it's not
gonna last forever" No, that wasn't love, that was 90% hormonally charged lust. OK maybe 95%. She hasn't forgotten how to love, seriously people. Hopefully she's becoming more diligent about what her needs and expectations in a partner are and is becoming more discerning!
#2 "Make her feel wanted!" I'm not going to argue much with this one. Everyone does well when they feel valued and appreciated; employees, children, friends, and lovers too. I've always been a fan of Dr. Laura's suggestion that your treat your spouse like you are dating. That includes plenty of hugs, kisses and hand holding by the way.
#3 " Be who you really are!"Well that goes without saying doesn't it? It should! The only thing I will add is not to neglect your self identity for the sake of the relationship, and don't let her do that either. If you have a passion for mountain climbing, don't give it up to spend every single weekend together. That will only lead to a building resentment of the relationship and anger with yourself and perhaps displaced anger at her. Use care and consciousness to maintain your personal passions. You may share them with your partner, encourage them in theirs, and/or develop new ones together. Believe me, this is just the beginning of learning to balance needs; work, personal, spiritual, spousal, and family.
Welcome to life beyond the individual. Just please be diligent of how you choose to travel this path, and with whom.
Have you seen this meme? It appeared on my newsfeed a few times and at first I found myself nodding in agreement. A very large part of the Lutheran culture is rooted in the recognition that we are all sinners and that the bible is really clear that all sins are equally egregious to God. "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." James 2:10
Let me backtrack just a moment, using the term "sin" automatically implies a religious perspective. If you are an atheist, then your probably not referencing something as a sin and this conversation will be a mute point for you.
The Apostle Paul discusses this in Romans Chapter 2 "You, therefore, have no excuse,
you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge
another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do
the same things." He goes on to point out that God is the only one that is Righteous enough to judge, because not one of us is perfect.
Of course that's not the end of the story. There was someone who WAS perfect, because he is God. That would be Jesus, who was born into human flesh so he could live a sinless life in our place. So that he could take the punishment we earned, in our place. So that we can have the eternal life HE earned FOR us.
Back to the meme. Understanding and recognizing that we are all sinners, and that someone else's sins are no different then ours is key. It is a big deal. It is true.
How this meme is being used isn't necessarily true though. It seems every time it pops up it's with an agenda attached. Instead of pointing out that we are all sinners, it's being used to say "you can't say/think anything about me, because you're a sinner too" and acts as a justification for the perpetuation of a sinful life. Therein lies the crux of the issue, in the attitude of the heart.
I have plenty of sin in my life. It's often the sneaky type I have to pray most about, stubbornness, patience, priorities. What do I do? Repent, pray, work on it, repeat. I think I'm getting better, but I'll never be perfect. I call that being realistic. What I don't do is shrug my shoulders and go on about my life. I don't go about celebrating and proclaiming it, either. I certainly don't go encouraging other people to embrace their stubbornness, or conceit, or [fill in the sin]. I hate it. I want to change it. I'm stuck in the same battle Paul talks about. "For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans 7:15. Truly it would be easier to hack off a limb and be done with it then to constantly battle myself, but it's not my limbs that are my disease. And luckily I know the medicine that helps me, it's God's Word. Often He just says, "be still, and know that I am God". Like I sometimes tell me kids as I hold them, "shhhhhhh". Just "shhhhhh" and let me hold you. It really does help, both them and me.
I know I don't *have* to be perfect but I know God made me to be perfect and I want to show my gratitude for Jesus offering himself as a sacrifice for me. One of the ways I can show that gratitude is to strive to be closer to perfect. Part of getting closer to God's plan for me is to flee from sin, to squash it every time I can, to celebrate every victory over it and not to lose myself in self pity for those times I fail, but to simply say to God, "I'm sorry, please forgive me and help me to do better next time."
By the same token promoting or encouraging my friends in their own sinful nature is... well about the least friendly thing I can think to do. Why would I want to encourage someone I care about to continue going farther from God. I won't hate them, I won't speak ill or be mean, I won't judge them, but I won't encourage them either. My job is to love my neighbor as I love myself. I will pray for them and I will gently speak God's truth in love. I may share my own struggles, my comfort in God's Grace, and my sincere hope they come closer to God's and find his Will for them.
My continuous goal as a Christian woman and Mother is turn away from sin and towards Christ Jesus, and to encourage each and every person I know in the same way.
By now you've probably seen the video of the father who shoots his daughters laptop with his pistol. If you haven't here ya go:
The response has been enormous, both in support and in disagreement. I found freeplayparenting's response thoughtful. I completely agree about parenting by example and with respect, but I still think they are missing the larger point and that is communication.
You see that letter could have totally been written by a teenage me. The only difference was that my chore list was 26 items long, every.single.day. And if the entire weeks items were completed to my Step Father's satisfaction I did earn money, five dollars. Now I'm not the youngest chick in the yard, but five dollars for the weeks work would have been a fraction of the $3 minimum wage at the time. I lived the frustration of this teenage girl. To this day I harbor at least some lasting resentment about my parents attitude. When I complain about keeping the house up and my Mom jokes that I need a teenager, I don't laugh. And I don't plan on parenting that way.
However, now I live on the flip side of this parent/child relationship. I respect the need for consequences in a different way. I am a big fan of educated decisions, always have been. I love to give my kids choices, from what they may wear to what they can do around the house to help out. At some point they have to learn that poor choices sometimes result in crummy consequences. This is one of the more valuable life lessons I think I can teach them. Recently my darling daughter has learned that refusing to study her spelling words results in a low grade. This had little impact on her life or her study attitude until we made her weekly BFF playdate contingent upon an 80% or better test. She sometimes struggles to make the decision to study, but when I remind her that missing the playdate is a consequence of her own decision I hope to frame it differently then just a punishment from Mom and Dad.
The saddest part of this Father's video is that he's making it in the first place. I have zero issue with him taking away his daughter's laptop. They've apparently had a problem before and it sounds like she knew there would be consequences. I'm way too frugal to put a bullet through a laptop, although it does send a very clear message. But like freeplayparenting pointed out, this Father and Daughter are both sitting on the frustration train but not realizing they're riding together. If he would take his daughter out for a dinner date (I know, it seem counter intuitive but hear me out) and have a face to face conversation about her feelings I'd lay $100 down he would get a better outcome faster. If he would listen with empathy to her concerns he would probably find that a) much of her frustration may have already dissipated. we all need to vent sometimes, even him. b) herfeelings are valid regardless of whether the overarching complaint is or isn't and c) there are probably ways he can improve as a parent like expressing more appreciation for her efforts. He can also take this opportunity to point out her limited perspective, gently.
There is something moving and powerful about looking someone in the eye, about talking face to face. When it is your daughter whom you love dearly and want desperately to raise with great character, wisdom and work ethic don't you owe her the respect of looking her in the face instead of a video camera? Don't you owe her the chance to express her feelings without being patronized and invalidated? It's true she probably lives in a sheltered and self centered world due to her age, but it's a parents job to teach them through this, not to arbitrarily dismiss their feelings.
It's true that my kids are still young. I totally understand that parenting teenagers is an entirely different experience. Perhaps this girls letter resonates with me more then some, but I also know this Father's approach will most likely build another layer or two of wall between him and his daughter. She's probably a "good kid" and will probably "turn out alright". She may even grow older, see her parents perspective in a different way. She may realize they weren't nearly as wrong as she thought they were, but this realization could easily take a decade or more. In the mean time she will be traveling along a journey fraught with many real dangers and many bigger choices and consequences then posting a rant about her parents. These are worst times to have her Father on the opposite side of the Great Wall of China. I promise this Father that right now his daughter is not internalizing his actions as a result of her own behavior, but is filled with anger and resentment for him. Next time he should look her in the eye, speak calmly, and listen carefully. Consequences are fine, but the context in which you give them will make all the difference in the world!
This goal is easy. One improvement to the house each week. It can big or small, just as long as it's something. That should be easy... right? Is it bad I'm setting the standards fairly low so they are consistently attainable? Knowing that weeks pass speedy quick these days, one improvement is as realistic as I can be and still feel like I'm moving in a forward direction. I put "home decorating/improvements" on hold last summer while we went into summer class/vacation/yard improvement mode and here we are in January still treading water. Keeping up with this goal means I should come out with at least 50-ish improvements of one sort or the other. I'll take that!
Home Improvement #1 The Family China
I never planned on having China. My Midwest, middle class family never had China nor did I ever have a desire to own any. This summer however, we inherited a rather large 8 person set of Noritake Ivory China (I'm a total greenie here, I honestly have no idea what this brand means.). This set was a gift from my husbands Father to his future wife's Mother, my husbands Maternal Grandmother. The set is truly beautiful, understated and with silver accents. Knowing my Father in law had this sent home to what he hoped would be his Mother in Law in the middle of a war he hoped he would return from, makes it an important part of our family history that deserves to be passed on to future generations.
But having China means having a China cabinet right? I don't have space, nor the desire for a China hutch, besides it's rare to find a China hutch in a contemporary style that is not so obtrusive as to take over the entire space. I'm a firm believer that 80% of average American homes are furnished with pieces that are too large for the space, or have too many pieces in a room.
Here's the chosen corner, sparsely occupied by a tree, a light, the wireless dog perimeter-ma-bob and roomba, not exactly appealing.
Then I found it, at Bed, Bath, & Beyond of all places. Not particularly expensive, not overly large and just the style I was looking for! It is not a China hutch at all, but rather a glass front bookshelf and I couldn't be more happy with it.
